Entering Client Challenges with Calm and an Open Mind

Borrowed

“Robust dialogue starts when people go in with open minds. They’re not trapped by preconceptions or armed with a private agenda. They want to hear new information and choose the best alternatives, so they listen to all sides of the debate and make their own contributions. When people speak candidly, they express their real opinions, not those that will please the power players or maintain harmony.”

From "Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done" by Larry Bossidy, Ram Charan, and Charles Burck [Book]

Learned

A couple of Fridays ago, I got an email from a client we signed late last year. A stakeholder who had recently joined the team expressed concerns about our engagement. I was in Arizona with my friend Kyle, just getting back from a hike, when I saw the message.

There was a time when an email like this would’ve ruined my trip. Sure, it was on my mind until I could speak with the client, but I’ve learned not to lose sleep over these situations. In the past, I might have jumped to conclusions or acted on impulse. But really, all you can do is pause, stick to the facts, and treat it as an opportunity to have an honest conversation and learn. More often than not, it’s misalignment causing the frustration.

While I hadn’t led day-to-day conversations with the client, I knew this account hadn’t been smooth sailing. For one, the timing wasn’t ideal—we kicked off right before the holidays, with people in and out of the office on both sides. Then, we had to change Account Managers unexpectedly due to a departure while the client brought on a new stakeholder (the one who emailed me). Still, from what I’d heard, things seemed to be moving in the right direction.

I replied to the email, empathizing with their concerns while reassuring them that we’d work together to find a path forward. They seemed receptive. I also shared the email with the team and started a thread to piece together what had been happening.

Because of the holiday, I couldn’t get on a call with the new stakeholder until Tuesday—naturally, it ended up being the last call of the day.

When we connected, I was the only one on video—they dialed in from a phone at an off-site meeting. That’s the reality these days — you never know what’s waiting for you on the other end of a Google Meet. After some quick intros, I encouraged them to share their perspective openly. Don't hold back!

They explained the recent pressure from their boss, the CEO (whom I’d worked with to create the scope), to get things moving and felt we weren’t sharing enough ideas or making progress quickly. On top of that, their first call with our new Account Manager left them feeling like we were coming in blind—no one else from the team was on the call. They didn’t know we’d already held multiple onboarding sessions between the old and new Account Managers, but it didn’t matter if they weren’t aware. The optics weren’t great.

Despite these concerns, they seemed optimistic about how the Account Manager organized things and the overall direction. They wanted to share their feedback now rather than wait to see if things improved. I was so appreciative of that. Opportunities to hear real-time feedback like this before it’s too late—whether in personal or work relationships—don’t always come.

It quickly became clear they were missing key context about how this engagement was structured—and, more importantly, the scope.

I explained how we’d kicked off with an audit to shape the engagement, but ad-hoc requests had slowed progress. They didn’t recall seeing or hearing about the audit—not surprising, given all the transitions. They’d also been sending us any and all tasks due to limited internal bandwidth without fully understanding our capabilities. I explained we could continue supporting those tasks with a different arrangement, but for now, we agreed the audit findings were a better use of our efforts.

As we talked, I could sense the weight lifting off their shoulders. I answered their questions and clarified expectations. Our chat ended on a positive note.

This story doesn’t really have an end, though. It’s more like we’re just opening a new chapter, and I’ve been reflecting on a few things as we turn the page.

I don’t think it’s worth dwelling on the past with regret, so I won’t say I regret not reaching out to this new stakeholder when they joined. It’s something I usually make a habit of, but other priorities got in the way. And who knows—would it have changed anything? Would I have walked them through the scope or assumed they already knew? All I can say is that I won’t miss the chance to ensure alignment in similar situations in the future.

The experience also reinforced the value of approaching conversations like this with an open mind. It’s easy to get defensive or try to prove you’ve got everything under control, but real progress happens when you listen and make it collaborative. Walking into the call, I wasn’t sure what to expect, and I was ready for a tough conversation. From that standpoint, it couldn’t have gone better.

And, of course, it’s always worth remembering that everyone is operating under some pressure—clients, co-workers, and even friends and family. What we see is often just the outcome of those pressures. Approaching conversations without taking the time to understand what’s driving someone can escalate the situation for the worse.

As of last Friday, this client is interested in pursuing a more extensive project we discussed late last year, which may mean another change to our engagement or an entirely new one. My next step is to bring everyone together and determine the best route forward later this week.

Thought

When tensions arise, am I taking the time to uncover what’s driving the other person’s concerns?