BL&T No. 196: A Reflection on Resilience

This post originally appeared in my weekly newsletter, BL&T (Borrowed, Learned, & Thought). Subscribe

Borrowed

"The most fundamental qualitative change is internal, your vision and identity. By changing these, everything else you’re doing simultaneously changes as well. You take your internal and emotional evolution and externalize that in the form of refined standards and results."

From "10x Is Easier Than 2x" by Dan Sullivan, Benjamin Hardy [Book]

Learned

Though HYROX feels like it is weeks behind me, it was just a week ago—and I find myself continually reflecting on the experience and its application to all facets of my life.

In my previous newsletter, I shared how the last decade or so at Barrel has had all kinds of challenging moments, but we always pushed through and found our way to the other side, much like training for an event like HYROX.

But throughout the week, I've been contemplating a question: Why? Why do we push through? Why do we keep showing up?

Each year, I become more and more intentional about my choices and how I spend my time. It's important to me my efforts align with my values, who I aspire to be, and what I care about most, whether I’m navigating the complexities of parenthood, agency leadership, or personal growth.

There's an element to this growth journey that requires willpower. It's the ability to keep pushing, especially when it feels like you've got nothing left. But I believe to sustain that, there must be a greater vision, something solid and non-negotiable to work toward.

When I take stock of the different roles I play in my life, that vision continually drives me. Some are still taking shape. Some seem so far out of reach. Others are evolving with every milestone, but either way, it's what I look to in the tough moments.

Take last week, for instance. Dana was traveling for work, so I was running the show solo with Mylo and our dog, Gizmo. It was a fun week, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hectic at times—like Mylo holding on to my hip while I attempt to pour breastmilk into his bottle as he swats at it.

Although I had been taking some time off from training to recover post-HYROX, I joked that every day felt like a workout—or maybe a marathon, a marathon, stretching from the early morning until Mylo went off to sleep. My Whoop strain score would agree.

The week underscored the balance Dana and I have established in our parenting roles and reminded me how essential our partnership is to managing our family life. All said, when it comes to being a Dad, there's no world in which I give up or throw in the towel. It's about being the best teammate I can be to Dana and the best Dad for Mylo without losing myself in the process. Despite the tough moments, it was fulfilling to push through—and Mylo's little smile cures just about anything.

Meanwhile, at Barrel, the week was not without its challenges. Mid-week, we received an email from a client expressing disappointment, feeling their project was veering off track. In short, they felt we had moved too far ahead without sufficient checkpoints. It was one of those situations where you think to yourself, it would be easier to refund the client and forget about it. But that's not how we value our client relationships and their business goals. We're here to help them succeed, and we'll do what it takes. Luckily, we turned things around quickly while maintaining momentum and keeping good spirits with the client.

These situations are nothing compared to past challenges and hurdles, but they all test my resilience and commitment in their own way. Training for events like HYROX has helped me practice and build a resilient mindset—intentionally taking on hard things and testing my ability to get through.

Whether at home or work, my vision of who I want to be in my role and how I want to show up for those who rely on me, whether it be my family, my team, or others, keeps me centered and focused.

I was watching an interview over the weekend with musician and producer Jack Antonoff where he talked about the time in the morning when you wake up feeling fresh and nothing has "poisoned" your day. Amid the whirlwind of last week, those mornings stood out to me. The feeling of starting the day fresh, equipped with a new perspective and the lessons of the day before, ready to tackle whatever comes. This week, I'm focused on embracing this space more fully.